Looking at my life right now, I'd have to say I'm trying to satisfy my flesh. Deep down, I just want my soul to be satisfied, and I keep trying all these different ways (ways that attempt to satisfy my sinful nature).
I know what really satisfies. I know what really sets me free. I even know exactly what's caused me to get to the point I'm at. At each step in the past month, I've overwhelmingly made the wrong choice, and I knew it was the wrong choice. I think of Romans 7:18-19
That verse is like the story of my life. I know what's good, I want to do it, I know what's evil, I don't want to do it... but somehow I end up doing it. It's so frustrating to see that happen over and over again in my life.
This break I got coming up... it's a break I need. I need to step away from this place, and all the bad habits I've set here. I need to calm down and take some time to think about what I'm doing, and what direction my life is headed. I've got so many goals and plans for this break, I just hope that I can accomplish those goals. I guess I might as well share my goals with you, maybe you can help hold me accountable:
- Re-read Deadly Viper: Character Assassins and actually make some serious applications to my life
- Read Constrarian's Guide to Knowing God: Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osborne, Stand Against the Wind: Awaken the Hero Within by Erwin Raphael McManus, and Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraodinary Spirutal Leaders by Reggie McNeal. These are 3 books I need to pre-course work that I have for a class next semester.
- Do my devotions everyday, along with write in my prayer journal. Devotions first thing in the morning, prayer journal just before bed.
- Learn how to make a budget
- Co/teach a lesson or two in IA
- Look into some information about Moody, Trinity, Oak Hills, and Northwestern
- Make a day trip to Chicago (I need me some Portillo's!)
- Eat at OCB at least 3 times
- Get a shelf to use at camp
- Watch LOTR
- Win the lottery (or get an inheritance from some lost uncle at a worth of about 3 million dollars)
- Practice my farting on command skills
- Spend some time with my family
- Get in a jogging habit (Jon, I'm going to ask for your help on this one)
- and, hang with a ton of my good friends (if your name isn't listed, then you are one of my good friends: Michael Jackson, Joel Osteen, and Big Bird)
but I do it anyway