Nine days since I've posted. I think the less I post on here, the more busy I am. Also correlating seems to be how much time I spend with God. So by seeing how often I post is usually a clue as to how much I'm letting things slip away. I have been letting myself slip away too. Not like I had a perfect relationship with God before, but these past ten day's I've spent about no time with God and I can really see how negatively it's affecting me. My whole thought process is different... in a bad way too. I need to get back on track before I look back and realize I've missed out on a month's worth of talking to God.
OK, so I didn't really have a bad day... just a really really long one. I set my alarm for 7:01 and snoozed it ten times, to finally get up at 7:50. I had to get up because on Fridays, all students are supposed to work. This morning my job was to clean the lodge, Erikson, and Nicolet. Not bad, but it took me from 8:30 till noon to do them. Then there was the afternoon. I was chosen to go to Mole Lake... and long story short... I spent the whole afternoon picking up garbage in a giant field. Have you ever spent 4 hours hauling massive amounts of garbage and huge chunks of iron and steel to a dumpster 50 yards away? Doesn't sound like much... but it was so much work. I bet a big part was that I'm sick a bit still... so I'm kinda low on the energy. Know what I'm sayin?
I've got a crap load of hw due tomorrow, and I haven't started yet. I'm dead tired, I need a shower, and I haven't given Jon a titty twister in over 2 months.... my life is rough!
So I've been a part of leading worship for like, what... 4 years? So you think I should be used to it, right? Yeah, I'm totally used to playing guitar and singing... practices go perfect, almost flawless. I really don't know what the deal is, but I still freak out when the real worship time comes. I start making mistakes in songs that I could play in my sleep! I get so nervous that I cant function. I really don't know what my problem is. It just frustrates me so much. I am just never ever content with how worship goes. The funny part is that nobody has ever said anything bad about when I lead worship. Ever. It's always compliments... when I know I really screwed up.
I dunno, that just really hit me hard tonite after Quest.
Not that I feel fine saying this, but I've had a crappy prayer life (ok, nonexistant) most of my life. Just recently I've made an effort to actually talk to God. Long story short... I'm just seeing how powerful prayer really is. It's just awesome to see the things that happen when you bring things to God and depend on Him.
My new prayer method is A.C.T.S. Whenever I pray, I go through A.C.T.S. and it helps me focus a lot. And I write it all down, it's so cool looking back in your journal and seeing how God is faithful. In case you don't know, A.C.T.S. stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. Basically, when I pray, I start of by giving praise to God (God's good, great, holy, perfect, etc.). Then I confess my sins... this part sucks to be honest. Then I thank God for the things and people He's given me, and other things He's helped with. Then I go to supplication... I ask for a supply: its just where I can ask for whatever. Just to help myself get in the habit of doing each part, I list 10 things of each... no more, no less. I really take my time when I do it (up to like 2 hours) but thats mostly because the Adoration part is really hard.
Another part that I love... I tell people I will pray for them... and I actually do. Before, it's not like i would intentionally not pray for them, It's just I forgot and didn't pray much. But it's so cool being able to pray for other people and see God work in their lives.
I think I've got strep throat. My throat hurts. Its swollen and there's white bump a lumps. It's not really that bad, it's just quite annoying and I would love it if it would go away. I am not going to be able to go to the doctor until tuesday. That sucks.
In light of my sickness, today was a work day. Man am I exhausted. Dinner is in about 5 minutes. I'm going to eat, then go to sleep. I hope am supposed to work in the kitchen tomorrow, but do you think I should be working in the kitchen when I've got strep throat, while there are going to be about 300 people here this weekend? I don't think so either.
Adam and Super Suave are coming up here this Sunday. I'm pumped. Can't wait for them to get here. Yey Adam and Super Suave!
So he asked "If you were able to sit right across from God, and ask Him any question, and He would answer completely no matter what the question was... what would you as Him?" Immediately, the first thing that came to my mind was... "I wouldn't ask Him for anything, I'd just give Him a hug." I'm not sure if hugs work the same way for you as they do for me. Hugs mean a lot to me, I just love them. The way somebody hugs me tells me a lot. All I want is a big teddy bear hug from God, telling me that He's got me in His arms, I've got nothing to fear, that He's taking care of me, holding me secure.
1. I heard a guy say "It's like taking a drink from a fire hose." Being here at NBI, I'm getting fire-hosed down with so much information and knowledge. What am I supposed to do with all this extra water being blasted at my face?
2. I've been wrestling with the idea that Satan cannot hear your thoughts. Up until about a week ago, I never thought of that before. Now that's one of the main things on my mind. If Satan can't hear my thoughts, that also means he can't plant thoughts in my head, or make me think certain things. If this is true... then I am just one messed up person. I used to blame some of my thoughts on Satan, but now I can't let myself do that. It's all my fault. It's my own sinful nature. Yuck!
So I came here to Nicolet with a few expectations, and those expectations are being met. But beyond that, things are happening here that I didn't expect. I could expatiate, but then it'd be like a 50 page paper, but simply put: I'm happy and more than content with everything that's going on here. If things are going this well after only the first month, I'm so excited to see what's going to happen in the next year. God is just revealing Himself to me in new ways and I'm gaining so much from Him and this place.
One thing I guess I could share with you: I've decided to start a prayer journal. And not one of those prayer journals that you do for two or three days and then forget about. I started it about a week ago, and I've missed the past few days, but I'm not just giving up and letting go. There was a phenomenal speaker this weekend that was extremely encouraging, and after listening to him I just can't give up. I'm beginning to get in the mode that my relationship with God is serious, and my habits are essential to be healthy. I'm really understanding things and seeing life more clearly. I can see clearly now the rain is gone. (Sorry, it just popped into my head and I had to sing it).
So I'm pumped about what's happening here, pray that God will keep working in my blood pumping organ.
So we've got a men's retreat up here this weekend. Doesn't sound too exciting. And it's not. It's weird seeing so many people smoking around here though. Tonight at chapel, an interesting thing happened though. Almost 300 men. In one building. Singing. Loud enough to hear. It was so cool hearing one giant mass of men singing their hearts out. I don't think I've heard anything so amazing in my life. I can't wait for the next chapel!
yeah i went to the fire tower again. it was so cool. and windy. man it was windy. but it was such a blast. i just love that place. if you dont know what im talkin about, scroll down and read about my last trip there.
YEP! So I'm planning on giving some guitar lessons this year. Right now I'm giving Ivy lessons, but several others have said they want to learn. I like giving lessons. It helps me figure out better ways to teach, and it helps me get to know the person better, it helps me get better at guitar, and it helps me learn to encourage and compliment more (i really slack at encouragement). So I'm pretty excited to teach some more guitar.
Also, I've decided to start learning to play the guitar the super cool way. Not sure what it's called, but its how Matt Wilhelm plays, with the guitar flat on your lap and you just hammer down. I've only been trying for a few days, but I'm getting it, and it's a blast. Jon, you're going to be so jealous when I head out there and show you my new skills.