Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Car Trouble

My family is cursed when it comes to cars. The minivan has a starter problem. The big van an ABS malfunction. The saturn a transmission problem. The bean a cracked shock. My truck needs a new exhaust and water pump. The pathfinder is finding it's way to the junk yard tomorrow. We're trying to set a record with the station wagon: longest time unused. The S10 needs entire brake system. That's a total of 8 cars. Each one's got a problem. Who cursed us, and please uncurse us!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas


Man, I really do love Christmas. The disappointing part is that it seems to get less and less special each year. It loses its magicalness. Maybe because Santa's not really part of Christmas before. Maybe because I don't get a hundred toys that I end up playing with only for a day. Maybe it's because Christmas break used to seem like it would last forever and now it comes and goes in a snap. I really do miss my childhood Christmases.

But I am certainly enjoying this Christmas this year. Right now I'm in Iowa with my dad's side of the family. Last year I didn't get to come, so I'm really loving it. You know, we're not really doing that much. Just sitting around and hanging out, but it's still great. We went to my grandma's yesterday and celebrated our Christmas meal and opened gifts. Today we're at my Uncle's house just chillin, talkin, watchin football. We also decided to try an old recipe for klub (pronounced kloob). It's an ancient Norwegian dish of potatoes and ham. It's freakin delicious! But it took forever and a day to prep and cook.

Gifts I've given: gas card.

Gifts I've received: Texas Road house gift card (including a bucket of Texas Road house peanuts and that sweet metal can, and a gift certificate for a free appetizer). A card and check from my aunt, and another card and check from my uncle. A bond from my Grandma. A book "Do Hard Things." A David Crowder album: Church Music. Some underarmor type stuff. Gift card to blockbuster and microwave popcorn. Thermal jeans. Skittles. A letter. Boggle. My guitar fixed (don't have it yet, but it's almost done). I think that's it.

Is it better to give than to receive? Well, I love the gifts I have received. I do feel crappy about not getting gifts for anybody. And I feel really thankful, blessed, indebted, and undeserving when I think about all the money people have spent on gifts for me over the years. Like from my parents are relatives who have spent money on me every year. It adds up man. I love getting gifts, but I just feel bad when I receive gift after gift, year after year.

Friday, December 18, 2009

We don't need no education

The semester is officially over. But I still get to go to Trinity to deliver mail. Joy. But I'm glad my classes are done. I'm not really anxious to start the next semester, but it can't be as bad as this past semester. During break I'm just going to chillax, disc golf, visit friends, drink and be merry. (Except maybe for that last one...) I'll probably clean up my house, maybe do some electrical work in the basement, and dance. I'll have tons of time to spend with my family, which I look forward to. Hopefully I don't get sucked into the TV too much. You know what I'm sayin?

If you wanna hang out, holla at ya boi, and I'll be there in a jiffy. Thanks for not stabbing me.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Genesis 2

I just began reading through the Bible and I've hit a dry spot already. By that I don't mean that I've stopped reading. I mean I've hit a verse that I just can't get past. Genesis 2:3. All the commentaries I've read talk about it as God setting an example for us, just showing how important the Sabbath is. But I just feel like there's more to it than that. But I just don't know. Any thoughts?

Unusual Weekend

For once I've actually got a weekend planned out somewhat. Tonite's Man Night at Craig's. (Man Night is something married guys come up with. It's just a clever way to get the woman out of the house). Then tomorrow morning I'm heading up to Kenosha with Jeremy and some clothes and such. I'll be putting in a new stereo once I get home, and then I'll be heading down to hang out with Rachel for the day, or till whenever she kicks me out. Then Sunday night I've got youth group. Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Bib Studies

Today while I was in class I think I got a little confirmation from God that Bib Studies was the way to go for me. In my Intro to ministry class today, we spent the whole day on building a tool to help high school graduates pick a church when they move on to college. We were supposed to be learning this stuff and I already knew it. It's just too wasteful to me to spend time "learning" about ministry like this when I already know it.

I'm not trying to say I know everything about ministry. There's always stuff to learn. I'm just positive a Bib Studies major would help me out more. You know what I'm sayin? I just kicked the Christian Ministries major with my energy legs. Thank you powerthirst.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Trip to Iowa

This past weekend I got a chance to go to Iowa with Jeremy and Adam to visit Jon and his family. I always love visiting them, and this time was no exception. We left late Thursday afternoon and returned late Sunday night. It was a shorter trip than usual, so that sucked a bit. But I got to disc golf everyday there, and I loved that. I got to play with Micah and Ruthie. I got to drink lots of bubbly (white sparkling grape juice, its a tradition). I got to go to Godfathers. We saw Ninja Assassin. We stayed up late every night. We got to enjoy Sarah's fine cooking. It was just an enjoyable weekend. It wore me out, I'm exhausted. But I had a blast and I miss the Duey's already. Hopefully we can make it back out there during Christmas break.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Major

I've decided to major in Biblical Studies instead of Christian Ministries. I know more about ministry than I know about the bible, so it seems logical to go this way. I haven't picked classes for next semester yet though. I'm still glad this semester's about over, and I'm ready to start my next round of classes.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

What a tease

Thanksgiving was great. But it turned out to be a big tease. I still have to go back to school, with homework ready to turn in. I don't want to go to school. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.

The Psychology of Biblical Interpretation

Just read through this book written by Cedric B. Johnson in about an hour and a half or two hours. It's about 120 pages. Decent book. If you haven't had any classes about philosophy and psychology, there's probably going to be a lot you don't understand. I've taken one class in each, and there was some stuff that just went right over my head. Plus I'm like falling asleep, so that probably didn't help in understanding.

Basically the book warns that you need to be careful when interpreting the bible. You come to the Bible with experiences, fears, influences, culture, and yadda yadda ya. I liked the book because it had to do with understanding how people work (and for some reason that always earns my attention). But I don't really think the book changes anything with how I'm going to interpret the bible. It has given me a new understanding that will help when I teach the bible to others.

It's not an entertaining book, not full of tons of useful and practical stuff, not long. Not the best book to read, but it wouldn't hurt to read if you've got two spare hours.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

How far is heaven?

I've been struggling through two ideas, heaven and selfishness, that are really intertwined for me, and I haven't really come to a conclusion that satisfies me. I'm not even really sure how to organize all my thoughts into coherent statements. Basically, I'm tired of hearing about becoming a Christian so you get out of Hell. I hear "It's not about religion, it's about the relationship," and then two seconds later "and you get out of Hell." People talk about being selfless as a Christian, but being Christian is selfish. 19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, ... 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven..." How is that not selfish? Would people love Christ if going to Heaven when we die wasn't part of the deal?

I think the big issue is that I'm selfish. I've got selfish motivations. I really want to be selfless, but I don't feel like I'm being selfless. I don't feel selfless storing up treasures in Heaven. I even feel selfish accepting love and peace and other blessings from God. I just feel like it's so much about me, what I want, and what God can give me.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Strengthsquest

According to Strengthsquest, my top 5 strengths are:
  1. Adaptability. People especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
  2. Communication. People especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.
  3. Ideation. People especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
  4. Includer. People especially talented in the Includer theme are accepting of others. They show awareness of those who feel left out, and make an effort to include them.
  5. Strategic. People especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
Does that sound like me?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Like a UFO

Dear Abby,
I strange phenomena has been happening to me recently. It's as strange as being abducted by a UFO. About a half hour after I eat, even if I completely glutton myself to death, I feel hungry. It's the weirdest thing. I'll just be stuffed out of my mind, and then before I know it, my stomach's telling me to eat more food. I have been able to ignore it thus far, but I'm growing weak against the forces of this misleading hunger. I fear that I may soon give into this. I've already gained about ten pounds since going to school here, so that really wouldn't help me out too much. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about this. I'm just so confused about it. What should I do?

Signed,
Stuffed-yet-hungry.

Friday, November 13, 2009

A new plan

I've had several sorry attempts at memorizing scripture, so now I'm on a new venture. My last try was recently, within the past month, to try to memorize Galatians by Christmas. I quickly realized this was a task only for the hardcore, super committed, and plenty of available time person. Not me. I also understood that it was, in a way, rushing too much. In one of my classes we were talking about the best way to memorize scripture (its crazy how your issues get addressed in places or ways you don't expect). I think my plan of action now is to go one verse at a time, adding a verse every 4 days. Each day I aim to recite the verse(s). So for the first 4 days i will recite galatians 1:1, then the next 4 days, 1:1-2. next 4 days 1:1-3. and on and on. When I get to chapter 2, the first day i will recite chapter 1 with the first verse of chapter 2. then after that i won't recite chapter 1 anymore. except when i get to chapter 3, then i will do all of chapter 1 and 2. make sense? probably not, but i get it in my mind.

I've already got one other person in on this, mostly serving as an accountability and encouragement kinda thing. I forget a lot, so it helps to have somebody reminding me. Plus its easier for me to remember to remind somebody else to do something than to remember my own things to do. Da?

Pshea!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Here's the DL

  • HP is finally sending me a box. A box that I put my laptop in. A box I then mail in. Then they fix it and mail it back in a new box. They mail back a new laptop with my stuff on it. A working laptop. I'm freakin pumped.
  • I started a new checking account. Chase College Checking. No monthly or yearly fees. Needed 25 dollars to start. Realized I had -95 bux in my other account. 2 overdraft fees. 32 bucks for the first one. 64 for the second. Got them both reversed. YEAH!
  • Had a ten page paper returned to me with a 55/60. Nice.
  • Got a 5-7 page paper due today thats worth 120 (or 160... not sure). I think I did a terrible job on it. I worked hard on it... it's just a weak paper. I was not satisfied when I was finished. I had time to go back and redo stuff, but I just didn't know what to do, so I left it.
  • I think my truck's leaking power steering fluid. This past summer whenever I turned the wheel it was all jerky. I had like no fluid. I filled it up. It's jerky again. I need a new exhaust too.
  • I've applied for a few jobs and heard nothing. I just applied for a mail job on campus. Hope I get that.
  • I have made a goal to memorize the whole book of Galatians by the new year. I'm excited. I have to do about 3 verses a day to make it. So far so good.
  • Just finished reading Blood Brothers. Fantastic book.
  • Just started reading i am not but i know I AM
  • Just got a job at trinity. You may now call me "Mailman"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Still no lappy

It's been insane not having a laptop. Almost a month ago, my laptop decided to stop working. Since then I've gone through countless conversations with countless different people from HP trying to see if we can get my laptop fixed. In the mail I just received a new recovery disc, which I know will not work. All I want is to send my laptop in so they can send me a new one.

I honestly hate how everybody I talk to from HP is from India. No offense to them, but I can hardly understand what they are saying. I think it's crap that HP does this.

In light of not having my laptop, things have really changed. I was actually very dependent on my laptop. I used it for notes, my hw, email. School has actually been quite a challenge without it, and I'm pretty mad that HP isn't helping me at all.

Another sucky thing is my guitar broke. The nice one that Jon's church gave me. I just bumped it a little bit and the guitar fell and broke right at the first fret. The head was completely separated from the guitar. Don't know how much it's going to cost to fix... don't even know if I'll be able to afford it.

So two of my top possessions have been taken away from me. Coincidence? I think not. I'm just waiting for somebody to steal my truck...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Peace

I think I'm starting to get a better understanding of "peace." I've been thinking about a few blogs I've posted lately. One about loving everything, and another about "the end is near." I always enjoy having memories of my childhood, or being in a spot where I'm just really happy... like looking at the stars. I was thinking about the idea of "shalom" and how the meaning behind it is about a deep peace. I don't know why I've ever really thought about this before, but I really think this is how God gives me peace. I never really thought about peace and if I was ever at peace. It's where I just feel calm-- when I'm just in a spot where it really feels like I should be. Almost like at that moment nothing is wrong. Where I'm just completely happy and content. I don't really know how to describe it more than that.

Simply just I think I'm learning what it means to be at peace... and I like it!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Discus again


Today Jeremy and I went out and did some discus again. I don't remember what my scores were, but they were all pluses, but not more than 5 over. We went to 2 different 9 hole courses than the two we went to the other day. This is a map of the courses we go to, or plan to go to soon. I found and Eagle disc today, and I love how it flies. Lucky me, there was no name or number on it... but the edges of it are kinda chopped up (but I still love it). Definitely my new fav discus. Also, I'm looking in to discs that either glow in the dark or have LEDs. They're not cheap, but they're not expensive. Anywhere from 10 to about 30 bucks. Still, I'm too poor to buy anything. My bday's comin up soon... don't hesitate to go all out on gifts for me.

Discus

The other day I went disc golfing with Jeremy and Rachel to two different 9 hole courses. First course I got a whopping 9 under. Second course I got a sweet 8 under. I'm a beast. Watch out, Jon, the day has come where you won't beat me anymore.

Jeremy and I went and did some discus yesterday in the rain too. I finished up at about 2 under. Also, I'm getting anxious to go throw some disc at night. I found a disc at the store that has a built in LED. But I'm poor, can't buy it... so I must wait!

I love how there's like a hundred courses around here. It's pleasant.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Them good ol' Iowa parties

I spent my weekend in the great state of Iowa, for my cousin Tim was marrying his lady friend. My family took off from Kenosha around 2:30 and got there around 8:30. It's supposed to be about a five or five and a half hour drive. We made a pit stop at Happy Joe's in Dubuque and got a meaty pizza. It had bacon, hamburger, sausage, pepperoni, and canadian bacon. Freakin delicious, man!

The wedding was pretty good. It was held at UNI outside. It was a sunny and warm day. I think everybody was a bit warm, but Tim had to be dying up there, considering what he was wearing. But everybody made it without heat stroking out or anything. The dinner was pretty yummy too. I had some Parmesan chicken thing, and there were some people who had some pork stuff that I heard was super delicious. Dancing was decent too. I don't remember going to any receptions for weddings, so I'm not really sure what to base this off of. But there were a few good dancing songs that I enjoyed dancing to (I'm not sure if you can call it dancing though). I didn't break out my breakdance moves though... maybe next time.

It was good to get out to Iowa and see my family and just hang out for a while. It's been over a year since I've had any good hang out time with them. It seems as if most of them are doing pretty good right now, so that's good. Can't wait to see them again.

Congratulations Tim and Steph! I hope that you guys have a fun, loving, growing and thriving marriage!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Creation


I realized last night that I am in love with God's creation. If it's cloudy, I love looking at the different cloud formations. If it's raining, I love hearing it beat down on my roof. If it's snowing, I love drifting in it. If it's lightning out, I love having epileptic seizures from it. If it's tornado-ing, I love chasing them. If it's hot out, I love just standing there and letting the sun cook me, it feels great. If it's windy out, I love walking in it.

I love looking at the stars. I love the smell of fresh cut grass. I love climbing trees. I absolutely love sunsets. I love standing on top of mountains. I love flying through the sky. I love swimming in the lake. I love rafting down the rapids. I love walking in the coolness of the night. I love climbing on the rock formations of the Eau Claire Dells.

Then I see things that man has created, only because God gifted them to do so. I love walking through the school's courtyard, with all the lights lined up, and seeing just a few stars poke through the bright lights. I love seeing the Chicago skyline lit up at night. I love going into new churches and seeing the original architecture. And nothing feels better than sitting down in the driver's seat of a car.

Everything I've got--no matter if it's natural or man-made-- I know it's only because of God. I know it's not the case, but sometimes it seems like God put this stuff here just for me... those stars are there just for my enjoyment (guess that's the selfish side of me). I just really enjoy everything God has made, I thank Him so much for it all.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Time

Man, I can't believe that it's already been over two weeks since I've been in school. Two weeks isn't really much in the scope of a lifetime. But I think about what's changed in the past two weeks, what I've accomplished (and what I've slacked on), it's just crazy. If time is increasing at the rate that it is for me, pretty soon I'm going to be like 60.

A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years like a day. As we get older, and become more like Christ, does that include that previous statement? As we get older, does a day become more like a thousand years, and a thousand years a day? ...don't think that has any biblical truth behind it... but it's just an interesting thought!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hilarious

This verse makes me laugh harder than any other verse in the bible: Acts 5:57, which says "At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him." I think it's absolutely hysterical that grown, mature men are sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming (I imagine them screaming "I can't hear you!) That picture just makes me laugh. How ridiculous.

Monday, September 7, 2009

House

I was watching this episode of House when this idea just hit me real hard... let me tell you what happened...

Dr. Wilson is washing some dishes, and you see a green coffee mug with some lipstick on it. He looks funny at it, doesn't touch it and just walks off. Later, a patient of his tells him that she wasn't happy at her last job, that she was stuck in a rut and just needed to get out. Later, Dr. Wilson is talking to the patient, and tells her that she's right, and that he's stuck in a rut that he cant get out of. His wife died like ten years ago and hasn't been able to let go, and he doesn't know how to let go. The patient says that the only wrong thing to do is to do nothing. Later you see Dr. Wilson washing dishes again, and you see that green mug with the lipstick on it. The lipstick was his wife's, and it was one of the last things she touched before she died. He left it sitting there for 10 years because he couldn't let go. He picked it up and washed it.

That just really hit me hard. I'm not sure if you can pick up the whole feeling of what's going on there (if you want it, watch season 5 episode 14). I just realized that people go about living their lives as if nothing's wrong. But the truth is that they have massive pain inside of them. Pain that they've been dealing with for a long time, and they don't know how to handle it. Wilson just washed a cup and he was better. But it's not really that easy. I praise God, that he is here to help us through our pains.

There's not really a big pain inside of me that I'm struggling to deal with. It just kills me to think about all the people that have really screwed up lives and don't have God to carry them through it.

It's amazing how God can work in my heart through a show like House.

This youtube video has nothing to do with what I just said, it's just a video you gotta watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUJGjTjo7Do

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Star Wars

I invited some friends over for a Star Wars marathon yesterday. Does that make me a nerd? I don't care! We watched the original Star Wars trilogy. Simply wonderful. My mom made pizzas for us to with Paielli's Crust, super yummy. It was a good night. Thanks for comin over, Drew, Clair, and Rachel.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Discus

The other day Jeremy and I are playing some disc golf in a park. This mother and her child are walking through and the little boy asks what we're doing. The mom says "I think it's called 'discus.' They have to throw the frisbees into buckets." Definitely made me and Jeremy laugh. We're definitely going to start calling it "Discus."

We went today to 2 different courses with Ethan Carlson. I managed to get a total of 1 over on the first course and 2 under on the second course. I'm pretty much pro... Anyways, I hope to go disc golfin tomorrow at Parkside, I'm excited.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

What Luck!

I'm on my way Bib Interp when I realize I actually have Intro to Min first. I didn't have the books I needed for the class. We didn't even use the books in class. Score 1!

I had an assignment due today in my Intro to Min class, but I didn't do it. I get to class and long lecture short, he was worried about us doing a bad job on the papers, so he told us what the papers should be like and said turn the papers in by next Tuesday without penalty. Score 2! My laziness didn't screw me over for once!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Pimp Slapped

I just love this... it comes from John 9 (CEV)

26"What did he do to you?" the Jewish leaders asked. "How did he heal your eyes?"

27The man answered, "I have already told you once, and you refused to listen. Why do you want me to tell you again? Do you also want to become his disciples?"

28The leaders insulted the man and said, "You are his follower! We are followers of Moses. 29We are sure that God spoke to Moses, but we don't even know where Jesus comes from."

30"How strange!" the man replied. "He healed my eyes, and yet you don't know where he comes from. 31We know that God listens only to people who love and obey him. God doesn't listen to sinners. 32And this is the first time in history that anyone has ever given sight to someone born blind. 33Jesus could not do anything unless he came from God."

First Official Chapel

Today was the first day I went to an actual chapel here. Tuesday there was an all-university convocation (which was EXTREMELY boring). I definitely liked this chapel. Matt Wilhelm's band (minus Matt cuz his guitar is jacked up) lead worship. They did this song I've never heard before called "Stronger." Man, what an amazing song. Definitely my new favorite worship song.

The speaker was pretty swell too... I don't remember his name though. He's fairly entertaining and does a good job of keeping your attention (which helps with my part-time ADD). What he spoke about today made me laugh. He talked about Chapel Manners. He talked about it in light of treating the service as a holy place, which was a nice touch. But it was simple stuff... like turn your cell phones off. Show up on time. It was like kid stuff, but we're college students. The funny part? We actually needed to be told that.

Here's what I gleaned from him: People say that God is everywhere. Therefore, every place is Holy. Think about that... then that means there's really no special place for you to meet with God. It was suggested that, in fact, there are some special places for you to meet with God. I guess we can call them "Super-Holy Places" (that is my idear, not the speakers). You need to reserve those spots for God, and God alone. It's not a time or place to start a debate, nor to text, nor to zone out. These super holy spots are for you to focus in completely on God, and to give him the attention he deserves.

It's definitely something I needed to hear. Something I need to spend some more time thinking about. Have you made it to the nearest Super Holy Place today?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Un-retiring.

Yeah. I'm back. It's been quite a while since I've last blogged. I'm not really sure what happened, but blogging just became a bore. But now I'm back, and I'm ready to start blogging 12 times a day.

So what's goin on with me? I'm in my second week of school. I'm taking, Intro to Philosophy, Intro to Ministry, Intro to Intercultural Ministry, and Biblical Interpretation. At least that's what I'm taking now. Before I moved in I received a letter from trinity welcoming to the college and a class schedule... before I signed up for classes. Not sure who signed me up for the classes, but I ended up dropping 3 of them, and getting two new ones, and moving the time for one of my classes. Now I've got I.P. Mon, Wed, and Fri at 8:00 AM. I.I.M. Tues, Thurs at 10:50. I.M Tues, Thurs at 1:40. and B.I. at 3:05. Nice schedule. I'm content with it now. I've also got Chapel at 11 on Mon, Wed, and Fri. I don't have to go to all of them, but I have to go a certain amount of times... not really sure yet.

So I've got from 8:50-11:00 open on Mon, Wed, and Fri. Leaves me a perfect slot to work out, shower, and spend some time with God. This will be great for me. Even though I will want to make excuses, there will be no good reason for me to not do these 2 things. I'm lookin forward to this.

Also, I'm going to look into getting two jobs. The first one, my title would be "Mad Scientist." I would go and show cool science tricks to 15-25 elementary students after school (or at b-day parties (Yeah! free cake!)). Each session lasts an hour, and each session pays $25. The second job I'm going to look into is Best Buy. I know the one near here is hiring, so I'm hoping to get into the Audio Department.

I gotta tell you about the dinning hall they got here. It's fabulous. Not the best food, but they have a ton of food. They serve buffet style. They have 3 different complete meals you can choose from (or mix and match, or get it all!), plus they serve pizza like all the time, and they have a salad bar and dessert table (with an ice cream machine!). I'm tellin you... I'm going to get so fat unless I work out hard. Because there's no way that I can limit myself in that dinning hall. I go crazy in there. It's awesome. I'm glad I'm not on like Weight Watchers or something terrible like that... Plus I got a wicked stash of grub in my dorm that I may feast on at any time. I'm lovin it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Failure to Blog

I've really lost all desire to blog. I'm not sure why. I just have no desire at all.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The End is Near

I always get these random memory outbursts. Memories of things that I've done in the past that I miss doing. Like going to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Christmas. Like playing kickball in the yard and aiming for Denny's house intending to dent his siding as badly as possible. Like hearing that certain song on the radio every single bus-ride home from school. Memories that just make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Oh, you know what I'm talkin about.

Well, here's another one of those memories in the making. The End of Silver Birch Ranch is near. I have already begun recollecting all of the great memories I've made here. All the short road trips we've gone on, driving into Antigo for McDonalds at midnight, mammoth bon fires, spending hours and hours reading and doing homework. There's just a lot I'm going to miss from this place. A load of people I'll miss from here.

I am going to miss SBR, but it is my time to leave. The End of this chapter is here. Good bye SBR. Hello Trinity.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Time to Rhyme, nap n rap

Sittin in a chair burnin disc at one AM.
i am bloggin and i'm facebookin can you comprehend?
missin out on sleep, packaging discs for the campers
gotta take a pee, to lazy, I could use some Pampers.

duplicating, and awaitin for the disc to burn the image
andrew hampe's talkin bout a program that he calls "bridge"
don't know how to use this program, must discover on my own.
i would have been done already if i just had known.

burn it once, burn it twice, but the disc still ends up empty
if this happens one more time, i'll start screamin like a wild banshee.
up till one, up till two, maybe i will stay up later.
i can't think of a word that now rhymes except "gator"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

July 28th

August 14th. 17 days between today and the day I leave. I've had 52 days of camp. I've live here at Silver Birch for 347 days. Thats 8328 hours. Or 499,680 minutes. Or 29,980,800 seconds. What have I spent all those seconds doing? I feel like I've spent a lot of time here, but I also feel like this past year has gone by so fast. Looking back, this year has been a blast. Here's a quick review on the year:


Here's what I did well on: never missing a class, building relationships with new friends, serving at camp, serving at ACC, having fun, increasing my off-roading and drifting abilities.

Here's what I didn't do so swell on: building my relationship with Christ, doing my hw, taking care of myself physically, keeping in touch with my family, preparing for next year.

I just look back at this year and think about all of the things I did well and things I didn't do well. A new chapter in my life will be starting, and I don't want to have the same "not-so-swells."

Without a doubt, I will miss this place. I will miss the people. I will miss so much. But I'm looking forward to the future and the new things and new people and new places. I will find new things to love. But my biggest goal for next year (here's where you help encourage me and hold me accountable) is getting to know God better. I want to love Him the most, I want Him to be the center and purpose of my life. So here comes chapter 21...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time.

it's supposed to be WILD!

Guess who not only went jogging today. But he got up at 545 to go jogging at 6. Yeah, I'm talking about AM, not PM. Any guesses? No idea? Well I've got an answer that will shock you right out of your socks and shake this world to pieces! It was me! I went jogging!

Enough of that. I did, in fact, get up to go jogging with Jon this morning. It wasn't really hard getting up. The hard part was looking at my watch and thinking to myself "It's six in the morning. You're getting up to jog. What is wrong with you?" After we finished the 3.89 mile jog I had an hour or two to kill before I had anything goin on. So I went down to the beach and popped a squat. Then my body decided it was time to go to sleep, so I almost did a Greg Nelson and fell asleep sitting in a chair... half hanging of the edge. So I headed up to the Lodge Lounge and caught some Z's on a sofa in there.

Now that's what I'm talkin about, willis.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Fall Plans

So I had a nice discussion with Jon today about what I thought would be about a possible internship. But it ended up a little different. Here's the gist of the conversation:

  • I need to pick a place that will challenge me to grow and learn the most.
  • Staying at SBR would not do that because…
    • It would just be a repeat of this year, except without the good classes
    • Silver birch would suck me in and never let go.
  • Internship is a no-go.
    • It would be sweet to work for and get to know the youth group better.
    • It wouldn’t challenge me at all
  • I gotta get some schooling.

So I’ll get some schooling. I’ve been accepted at Northwestern in St. Paul, and at Trinity in Deerfield. Jeremy is going to Trinity. I’ve already got a huge scholarship for Trinity. Trinity is about 6 hours closer to home than Northwestern. I can have my truck at Trinity (at Northwestern I can’t).

I hate the fact that I’m making this choice just after I’ve talked to Jon because I feel like I’m just making the decision that Jon picked. The thing is though, that I really respect Jon. I think he’s full of great insight and wisdom, and I know God speaks to me and guides me through him.

Plus, earlier in the day I talked with Jason about this a little bit, and he pretty much gave me the same wisdom as Jon did.

Let us continue in prayer, to see if God wants us to go this way.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

mmmmMMMMmmm....


My Utmost for His Highest

Do you have even the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God?
Yes.

Is there a remnant of reliance left on any natural quality within you, or on any particular set of circumstances?
Oh yeah.

Are you relying on yourself in any manner whatsoever regarding this new proposal or plan which God has placed before you?
Yes

Is your relationship with God sufficient for you to expect Him to exhibit His wonderful life in you?
This is the part where I want to say yes. This is the part where I want my answer to be yes. But this is where I say no. Once in a while, I can answer "yes," but most of the time I depend on myself and don't rely on God at all.

"He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief" ( Matthew 13:58 )
I believe, but I forget. I don't wake up each morning dedicating my day to the Lord. I let myself get busy, I let myself go have fun and forget about God. God made everything perfectly, and so it's easy to see His glory everywhere. But it's so perfect, it's easy to not think about where all of life on earth came from, it's easy to forget what God's made and what He's done. I believe, but I forget. Forgetting, in this case, is no different than unbelief.

Do I really dare to let God be to me all that He says He will be?
"I dare" is really what I want to type. But something's holding me back. It's like one of those things where you know it's what's right, it's what you need to do. You know it, but for some reason, you just don't want to do it. I am not going to let that stop me this time, I can't. This time I dare.

Monday, July 6, 2009

What's next?

People are continually asking me what I'm going to do in the fall. It's starting to get irritating... mostly because I hate saying "I have no clue." My options: Trinity, Northwestern, possibly an internship in Iowa, or go home and work. I have been accepted at Northwestern, but haven't applied for any classes. I haven't been accepted by Trinity yet, but I'm sure I will be soon. I haven't heard from Jon about the internship yet.

I definitely do a bad job of thinking about my future and planning things out. I don't like to... I just want to go day by day. I know I do a terrible job of bringing this to God too.

If I had to put these options in a list by preference, my first pick would be Trinity. My second pick would be internship. Third, Northwestern. Last, work at home. But the strange thing is that I have a feeling like I should go to Northwestern. I've got no clue why, but it's just some strange feeling that's festering inside.

More than that though, I have a big desire to connect with next years NBI students. It's just unusual how much I want to be able to be here for next years class. To help them get used to NBI, to challenge them to grow, to just be there to be a friend.

I don't really know how that would be possible though. I could stay here and intern here... but there's really no job I'd want to intern for a whole year on. Maybe I could be their RA... I'm not really sure. I've just started thinking about this idea in the past few days.

Pray for me, give me advice, yell at me to pick something and get movin. Any encouragement or help in any way would be much appreciated.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Super Fun! Yey!

Man what a sweet 4th of July weekend. I swam across a lake. I went to a cottage in the middle of nowhere. I stayed up till like 2 every night. I saw 2 separate fireworks displays. I jumped in Sawyer Lake fully clothed. I did some night swimming in Sawyer Lake. I got to eat a delicious double bacon cheeseburger from A&W (you'd be excited about it too if you ate nothing but camp food for a year). I got to see the sunset from on top of a fire tower. I got to have a sweet massive bon fire. I got to clean up around my a frame (yes, I actually enjoyed this). I got to just chill and look at the stars at 1 in the morning. I got to eat Jimmy's pizza (actually pretty scrumptious). I found my truck keys (after not knowing where they were for 2 weeks). I got to warsh my truck (it's so pretty beautiful now). This is just a little glimpse of my weekend. The point's just that I had a great time. I definitely missed being home with my family for the 4th of July (this is the first time I didn't spend the holiday with them). But I did so much and had so much fun, this comes close to my usual Independence Day.

Bad news is that I'm still sick. I've been sick since June 23rd. Before it was congestion and no energy. That's mostly gone. Now I've got a sore throat. I gotta admit... it kinda sucks. But life goes on. Just say a prayer for me, and God will heal me if it's His will. You know what I'm sayin?

Friday, July 3, 2009

Antigo

Today was the first time I went to Antigo in like a month. I went in with Stinky Rachel. We did the usual Walmart and Walgreens run. Plus we went to Jimmy's pizza place. It was decent pizza, good "jimmy's bread" and it was just fun goin there. You know what I'm sayin?

Surprise Visit

Score! Today I had a surprise visit by Brittany and Jordan/Justin and another person that is related to Clair and I won't say her name cuz she smells. But it was sweet seeing them and being able to hang out with them for a little bit. AAAAAAnd we ended up chilling down at the ski dock... and after a while we all ended up in the water... fully clothed. Fun stuff.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Burn Proof

Last week some time I took a fire cracker off of a set of 16 so I could just light the single one. It had a nice long fuse on it, so I figured I'd be fine. So I lit it, pulled back to I could launch it fast, and before I even pulled forward, it blew off while it was in my hand. That fuse didn't even last one second. I was holding it inbetween my thumb and middle finger. It scared the crap out of me, and hurt a little bit. But it didn't leave any marks or burns. After about 2 minutes the pain (which wasn't really much) went away. My rough, all-calloused hands came in handy for a change!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

app elt hun

I went down to Appleton yesterday to visit some friends (and so some laundry for free). It was a nice drive there, good weather, had a great time hanging out. We had some grilled out chicken and burgers, shopped at the mall, bought a candle that smells like heaven, watched Nacho Libre, and played Mau till 3 in the morning. Got to bed at 3:30, then had to get up at 7:30 to be back to camp by 10:00 for a meeting that was super boring! It was a good trip tho... it was worth it! I'm exhausted though... and I'm ready to go to bed.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What a night

Lastnight was a crazy night. I was running all over the place, trying to go from here to there getting this and that done. Then the 4-wheeler I had decided to die on me. Then I went and lost the key for it. I could sit here and tell you everything that went wrong, but then I'd just get myself all angry at it again. Just know it was a sucky night! Glad its gone and done with.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Nelson Overload

This week Faith is camping. Jeremy and Jesse are volunteers this week too. So there's four Nelsons here. Quite the overload. I love it though. It's great being able to see my siblings for a little bit. I get to pester them and boss them around and stuff (not really, but I'll pretend to). Now if I could only see my mommy, daddy, sara-poo, and my dog... come up here family!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

End Week One

So I'm just sitting here down in the dungeon with Andrew Hampe, we're working on mass producing the MP3s and CDs for the campers. It's so exciting doing this! (can you hear the sarcasm enough?) But it's been a good week. I think I've got a good tech crew. Funny thing is... I think I know the least about this tech stuff than anyone else on my team... and I'm the leader. Makes sense...

Anywho, it's been a successful first week. I think we're getting set in our roles and getting comfortable with our jobs and each other. I think it will be a good summer.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time.


I decided to jog on a regular basis. Today was the start of a wonderful journey. It took me about 15 minutes to jog about 2 miles. I couldn't tell you if that was good or bad, but I'm assuming it's not too bad for my first run. It just about killed me. After 10 seconds, I was out of breath. After 2 minutes I got my first side ache. Then after about 4 minutes my shins began to crack. After 6 minutes my muscles began to shut down. Shortly after that, my whole body went numb, and the blindness set in. I'm not sure how I made it back here, but I did. I'm sweaty like a pig and my body hates me.

I'm excited to do this everyday now! And Drew already asked me to join him for a jog after dinner. Hopefully it's like a 3 minute jog.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Girls vs. God

An old friend once said that when there's a girl in my life, that I don't leave room for God. Looking back at my dating relationships, it's true. This is more bad news for me.

I like attention from girls, and I like giving them my attention. When there's a girl I just seem to devote all my free time and attention to them. When I have the option of hanging out with a girl, or going and hanging out with God... you can guess who wins every time.

In light of this... I've got 2 options: don't get married ever, or start working on that. As much as I want to get married, staying single isn't that bad. I wouldn't have to worry about taking care of a family. And I would feel sorry for any girl that ends up with me... I'm a messed up guy. I've got lots of downfalls and problems that I wouldn't want to make any girl deal with. As I said though, I'd really like to get married. I love the idea of having a wife and a family of my own.

SO! That leaves me with working on my problem (one of the many problems I've got). I need to stop doing some things and start doing other things. I guess it really comes down to being a MOG. I need to become a MOG. I'm definitely not acting like one right now, and I haven't been for a long time. I gotta stop devoting so much time to girls and more to God.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Lonely

I really don't know why, but I've been feeling really lonely lately. Even sometimes when I'm around other people I feel lonely, and I never really want to be alone. You know what I'm saying?

Today Ivy went home, I'm gonna miss her a bunch. Justin and Sarah went up to the great state of Canadia. I'm definitely gonna miss them too.

Good bye's definitely suck.

On the other side... saying hello is nice too. The whole Childers klan is up here for family camp. It's nice to see them. Got to talk with Mike and Sue and Bill and Brian. Me gusta mucho. I can't wait for Jeremy and Jesse to get up here and work. And there's some peeps from ACC working here too... like Mr. Fluger and Hannah... who else? I'm excited to be working here with Matthew Wilhelm this summer also. Yee-ah! Can't wait to see the ICC group when they come up here, hopefully I'll have some free time then to hang out with them.

Now if only I could get Adam and Super Suave to come up here!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Armpit Tick

So I wake up at 1am this last morning, and I dunno why I woke up or how I discovered this... but I found a tick in my armpit. Sick. I don't know why... but it really freaked me out. I figured I'd just get it out in the morning... but I just couldn't get back to sleep. Just knowing it was there kept me awake and freaked out. I just did not like the idea of an insect sucking my blood with it's head in my flesh all while I was sleeping. So I got it out. Then I smashed the crap out of that tick. Showed it who is boss. A slow, painful, cruel death. That's what it gets for bothering me like that and messing my sleep up. Freakin tick.

I'm sick too... some kinda cold or somethin. It's time for summer, but it's still cold enough for me to see my breath at night! The weatherman is doing a terrible job of dictating weather.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Too Busy

One month ago it was April 27th, five days away from finals. I was really looking forward to school being done... I'd be done with homework and I'd have so much more time on my hands. In this past month I've managed to read by bible about 5 times. I've managed to pray just a few times (not including before meals). I've really managed my time horribly. I have more time now, but I seem to fill it up so fast. I've forgotten about time and I just go... I go do whatever.

SBR is one of the easiest places to build your relationship with Christ... but it's also the easiest spot to not. It's so easy to go sailing instead of doing my daily devotional. It's so easy to mini-golfing instead of reading "My Utmost." It's way too easy to go dirt biking instead of going and being alone with God.

This past month I've always chosen the sailing, mini-golfing, and dirt biking side. I've been feeling it too. I'm drained. I get 10 hours of sleep and I wake up still tired. Low motivation, low energy. Whether it's right or not, I'm blaming my laggishness on my weak spiritual life. I'm digging back in now. I can't live like this all summer and not burn out. I must be ready... for myself and for the campers. You know what I'm sayin?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

It Bugs Me

Today I began reading one of Dave's books "Beyond the compass." It got me thinking about that all to common phrase "God's dumbest though is smarter than your smartest thought. (as if God has dumb thoughts)" Eventually my thoughts came around to things that I don't understand... things that have come to bother be about Christianity. One thing that bothers me is that God doesn't talk to me. Like audibly I want to hear His voice through my ears like I'd hear anybody else talk. Thats what I want, that's what I think I need. Obviously God doesn't agree. That's just something I don't like right now. I think I'm going to come up with a list of things that bother people about Christianity, why they bother, and how to work through that issue. So... what bothers you?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Canada, Eh?

Ahhh... just returned from the great state of Canada... or, rather, the country (whichever you prefer) for Canadian Adventure. Nice ride up, long ride back, and tons of good stuff in between. Most of the crew went up Sunday morning, but Ivy and I stayed back to go to the Quest banquet (which turned out awesome). Ivy and I headed up Monday morning, got a good early start at 5 AM (yeah, I was up that early), and had great weather for the drive up there. We made pretty good time and got to our destination pretty early (about 1 or 2pm ET). Camp is way in the middle of nowhere, there's actually no roads that go to the camp, so you gotta take a boat to it. So we were supposed to get picked up from a gas station, but we had to sit around for like an hour waiting for them. But that was A ok! We eventually made it to the camp and all was well.

While we were there, we made a new trail, hunted some chicken-like-creatures (but didn't catch any), climbed Mount Sinai, had a 3 hour solo time, burned some tree stumps, worshipped God, studied God's word, and just hung out! What a great time, I was sad to leave, but I'm glad to be back here too.

Mount Sinai was one of the coolest things. We climbed these hills/cliffs/mountains that were about 600 or 700 feet tall. At the top, there's this huge flat-ish rock that overlooks the Montreal River and a dam that camp is next to. What a view! I'll try to get some pics up on FB soon.

I was really looking forward to seeing the starts up in that remote area (the nearest hospital is like 2 hours away, same for groceries). But I was slightly disappointed to see a nearly full moon, blasting it's light through the night sky. I see more stars in Kenosha than I could there. Stupid moon. C'est la vie.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Off Roading

This happened a few days ago... like Friday or Saturday night. I went off roading in my truck, with Steve following in his S-10, and Drew following him in his Land Rover. We had only been gone for about 10 minutes, and I approached a small mud pit. I assessed the pit as I approached it, and figured I'd make it (after all, I'd been through waaaay bigger pits than this one). So I gun it and about half way my truck turns sideways and I get stuck.

Drew pulls up behind me, and tries to pull me out with a rope I had. The rope snapped. We sent Steve to go get chains. About 20 minutes later we see him walking back, he had gotten stuck. Steve said Luke had come out in his truck, and saw Steve's truck stuck, so Luke went to go get chains. Then Luke went to go pull out Steve, and while he was working on that, I went with Drew to go get some more chains so he could pull me out.

While we were at camp, we picked up Craig, and he grabbed a camp diesel 4x4 truck and chains, and he followed us out to where I was stuck. He hooked the chains up to my bumper and tried pulling me out. After he bent the bumper a little bit, and moved me about an inch, he reconnected the chains to my suspension. Man did he have to struggle to get me outta that pit. It took quite some time and some serious yanking on my truck to get it out.

So after he got me out, we headed out to where Steve was stuck. Apparently Luke had gotten stuck trying to pull Steve out. But they pushed him out, and then he was able to pull Steve out. So then we all took off outta there, with Luke leading the way. He got stuck again. So craig pulled him out pretty quickly. Then we finally made it outta there!

So we started off with 3 trucks, only one of them a 4x4 and 7 people. We ended up with 5 vehicles out there, only 2 4x4s, and 10 people. Trucks got stuck a total of 4 times. 1 ripped rope. 2 bent bumpers. Off roading for about 10 minutes, but we were out there for 3 hours.

I guess I shouldn't go off roading after it rains for like 3 days straight...

And all our vehicles are ok, except Steve's bumper is totally jacked up. My bumper is bent a little it, but no real damage... at least that I've seen so far... (but my truck got so full of mud... it was awesome!)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Home Laziness



It's great being home. No homework. No set schedule. Nothing I have to do except chill. It's great. Except for the fact that I get nothing done, and I get fat from sitting and eating nonstop. I love my family, and I love being with them and being back in my hometown. But I need to get back to school and get back in my zone. You know what I'm sayin?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Are You Really A Christian?

Now there's a great question. There's nothing like challenging your faith. There are always times where we ask ourselves that question. Times like... you walk into a room where you know people should be, and nobody is there. You think to yourself something like "Crap! I hope I didn't miss the rapture!" Yeah, its kinda funny to share those stories, but take a moment to look back at what you just thought. I hope I didn't miss the rapture. You've just questioned your Christianity. There's verses that state that once you're a believer, you're always a believer, and that we have peace through that (Romans 5:1). We are secure in Christ, and we're not going to miss out on the rapture, so why do we think that?

Sometimes I think some terribly wicked thought, and I slap myself and think "I can't believe I just thought that. How can a Christian think something so horrible? If I do think that, does that mean I'm not a Christian?" Then I go about trying to prove to myself that I'm a Christian.

I think about this passage: 22 Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he went, always pressing on toward Jerusalem.23 Someone asked him, “Lord, will only a few be saved?” He replied,24 “Work hard to enter the narrow door to God’s Kingdom, for many will try to enter but will fail.25 When the master of the house has locked the door, it will be too late. You will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Lord, open the door for us!’ But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’26 Then you will say, ‘But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’27 And he will reply, ‘I tell you, I don’t know you or where you come from. Get away from me, all you who do evil.’

Luke 13:22-27 (NLT)

So you're telling me that there are those who claim to be Christians, and they fully believe they are... but in reality they aren't? Oh man, I hope I'm not one of them! Thereabouts I begin to try to prove to myself that I'm one of the real Christians.

At this point of typing my blog up, I stopped and asked my friend to read it. I asked him if these were legitimate questions, and if I was the only one who was thinking this. He said he never questioned his faith in God, and suggested that I look at some scripture to help me think through this.

So that was actually really discouraging. Maybe I am the only one who has thought this stuff. So I sat there for a little bit, just kinda discouraged... and started playing the snake game for awhile. Then I decided to go make myself some turkey, and read James (it's due for class tomorrow).

So I was in the PK eating my delicious turkey, corn bread, and some Sun Chips, and began reading away... not really expecting much. But man did I get a handful of verses. I wasn't even seeking verses to help me in my questions, but I sure got a ton of them. James is definitely my new favorite book. Maybe some of these verses don't sound like encouragement to you, but they were to me. They were motivating, and gave me a greater sense of security.

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (1:6)
but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. (1:14)
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
18But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. 19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

These verses just jumped out at me. It was like God sitting right next to me, looking me and the face, and just unloading it all at me. I feel God yanking on my heart, getting my attention, and prompting me to grow. I love it!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Best Question Ever


I officially read "The Best Question Ever." It was a great book, but I've heard most of it from Jon Duey already! It's strange though, how things hit you in different ways during different times, coming from different sources. I've already used the best question ever a handful of times today, and I love it. It's so motivating and encouraging.

Totally unrelated to that... I've been so tired lately. I've been nonstop busy since Thursday, and it's taking a toll on me. Tonite I've just been laying in bed, doing nothing but trying to gain some energy for the rest of the week. I'm definitely going to bed and sleeping for like 3 years.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Rough Night


So tonight was definitely a long night for chapel. We tried a few new songs, and they definitely didn't work. Take It All was the worst. We practiced yesterday, and all was well. But today, during practice, things just got worse. Then for chapel everything kinda just fell apart. I guess it was just my bad for trying to do that much new stuff in one night. It was so frustrating because I had some really cool sounding stuff ready, but wasn't able to play it during chapel... big frustration. I'm sure we couldn't have sounded that good tonight.

Then while Steve Tice was speaking, he was talking about how God uses us, even when we don't think He does. He looked me straight in the eye, and told me that God used me tonight. He used me to lead worship. It's not really some profound statement... but man did that hit me hard. I've been sucking at leading worship, and it's really been bothering me. I have really been letting myself, my own desires for the band, my own stupid self get in the way of God using me.

How much of me gets in God's way? "We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don’t worship God" - Oswald Chambers. It's even good things that I'm running ahead with. But the point is that I'm running ahead. Or I've got my own agenda.

I want to have my eyes fixed on God, simply living with His will in my mind.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Easy Way or the Hard Way

Having a relationship with Christ seems to be one of those things that is so simple, yet so hard. Granted, there are some things that aren't simple... they're just flat out hard. Being a martyr, that would be really hard. Losing some friends because you proclaim Christ as your savior, that would be hard. But how come some easy things are so hard? Reading scripture, spending time in prayer everyday, doing a devotional. How come those are so hard to do?

I'm convinced that we choose to make it hard. Seriously, what is so hard about praying everyday? That's one of those things you can do anytime during the day and it can last one second or one hour. Where's the hard part in that? For me, it definitely comes down to laziness and forgetfulness. It's not a good excuse by far, but I use it to justify all my failures.

What else could make this relationship so hard?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

uh... yeah

What a spring break. I got to scarf down a bunch of pizza with adam, make stupid videos with Super suave, go to the Milwaukee Museum with Faith, and more. It was awesome spending time with my family, just hanging out and playing games. A much needed break from school and all the hw.

That's where the bad part comes in. I really had a bunch of hw that I needed to do. I actually didn't even bring any hw home. I don't know what I was thinking. I needed to get a lot of hw done. And there were a few other important things that I needed to get done... but haven't. I have definitely taken the lazy route while I've been home. I caught up on my TV tho... don't really know if that's good or bad...

It's been a relaxing break, but an extremely unproductive one... It's about time for me to get back to camp and get back into the swing of things.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

BIG challenge...

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/03/12/devotion.aspx?year=2009

This is, to say the least, tough. How easy it is to "love" Christ or be devoted to Him for the sake of yourself... for your own gain? "Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself." And that's it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Summer Staff Position

So the news is officially in. I signed up for Guys Staff Director or Program Team and I got... neither. Instead I got Tech Team. Probably about half of the students got the position they signed up for. I was definitely surprised when I was told that this is my job. I heard that Matt Wilhelm signed up for Staff Director, and I knew he'd get it, so that wasn't really a surprise at all (go matt!). And I didn't really expect to be put on program team either... but Tech surprised me. I'm not that happy about it... but I'm trying to be optimistic about it.

No, it's not the job I signed up for. No, I don't think it's the best job for me. And no, I don't really want to sit in the dungeon all day. But, it's not my pick. I'm sure God guided the staff here to choose this. Therefore, I'm going to be happy with it, and serve as best as I can doing this job. At least I'll get to sit in one of the few places that have A/C. And I'll learn a lot of tech stuff that I'm sure will help me in the future. And I get to work with Paul and Tessa (not that they're the coolest people in the world... but they're close). And I know I'll always be able to come back here and work as a techie!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Talking with God


I constantly hear stuff about coming to God humbly and praying with holy reverence. True indeed. But I've also heard that when you come to God, use your own language and say what you want... because God is a big boy and can handle what you have to say.

The best way for me to think about this is by thinking about a king. If you come before a king, you speak properly, politely, and in completely respect for the king (unless you're looking for trouble). You wouldn't come to a king and start mumbling, rambling, and using any indecent words.

So in light of this, how are you supposed to talk with God? I guess a more specific question I'm looking for is... what is a wrong way to talk to God? Is there such a thing as a wrong way to talk to God?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Greed

Ask anybody "Is greed bad" and they say "Yes." Ask anybody what greed is and they say...? What do you say greed is?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Good ol' days

For about the past month, so many good ol' memories have come to my mind. Things that I used to do that I miss. Is that considered homesick? If that is the case, then I guess I'm home sick. Here are some of the things I miss:
  • Eating only twizzlers and coke for an entire day: breakfast, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack. Yum.
  • Aimlessly driving around for hours.
  • Seeing movies at Tinsel-town, and always having a box of Dots and drinking the biggest drink they have (and running out of food half way thru the movie)
  • Disc Golf
  • OCB
  • city drifting (although I am getting used to coming within 3 or 4 inches of trees). I can almost drift thru the entire camp
  • high school... mostly the releases I had, going home and making myself some eggs and just vegging for a few hours
  • lake michigan
  • having a g/f
  • Golf dome, big oaks
  • the Jelly Bean
  • getting 10 hours of sleep
  • Buddy
  • Softball
  • trips to Iowa
  • having an income
  • taco hut
  • dodgeball
  • and last but not least, my friends and family.
I miss all you Kenoshans and Indianolans!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Frustration

I just spent 2 hours working on my essays for Moody. When I clicked on the "next page" button, they asked me to sign in. I knew that wasn't a good thing, so I clicked the 'back' button on my browser, and it wouldn't let me go. So I signed in and got back to that page... and all my work is gone. I cannot convey how frustrated that made me. It took all I have within me to not start pounding on something. Seriously... 2 entire hours on this... and it's all gone. There's no way I'm retyping all of that. Sorry Moody, you don't get Tony.

Friday, February 27, 2009

New verse

Remember how I said was being bombarded with that verse about trusting in God and leaning not on your own understanding? I got a new one to meld with that. John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." The strange thing is... this verse has just been completely pounded at me. Like I've seen over 30 references to this verse in the past week. And many times when I see it, within a few minutes, I'll see my first verse too. I've been busy with stuff... and I just now realized how much this verse has been thrown at me, so I haven't had much time to ponder about this at all... but I'm excited to see what God shows me through it!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Read Please

I'm tired of spending hours struggling through reading the Bible, trying to focus. To help me focus, I downloaded readplease. It's a text to speech program. I go to BibleGateway.com and copy the chapters I need to read and paste them in this free program. Man, did it help me focus. And it was entertaining when it read words wrong (like pronouncing "wind" with a short i instead of a long i, and pronouncing Ananias wrong... very funny). It took some time to read through what was needed, but I actually could focus in and hear what I was reading, so it's kinda like reading it twice. I got exposed to the reading through 2 senses instead of one. Quite helpful, indeed!

(and for those of you that know, I tried the big fat cyst, and the piss piss piss... and it was funnier than ever!)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What did you learn today?


Q:What did Jesus teach the two disciples that were on the road to Emmaus?

A: ...to dance!

Just finished up taking a test for New Testament Survey. That was a question on the test. I didn't know the correct answer, so I just gave that one. I'm sure he'll give me credit for it. Maybe... I hope.

I didn't really study for this test, and I could definitely tell. It wasn't a hard test, but because I didn't study, it just took more effort to recall the information. You know what I'm sayin?

btw... i'm pretty sure that Jesus was as ripped as this guy, and I'm pretty sure he was an pro break dancer

Monday, February 23, 2009

Odd day

I wasn't in a bad mood or anything like that today... but the whole day I just kept burnin on people. Not just joking around either. Like stuff that people do that bothers me. Just about everybody I saw today, I started thinking about what they do that bothers me. I don't know what was up with my brain, but I just couldn't stop thinking about everybody's actions that annoy me.

Maybe I've just gotten to the point where I'm so tired of people's inexcusable behavior that I can't help but vocalize it. There's one guy here, I want so badly to scream at him these verses from Matthew 7... "Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

The bad part is that I'm sure I've got a log in my own eye.

It just made for a long day having my mind set on thinking all these angry thoughts.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Stuck in my truck...

Today I definitely had one of those moments where it's like "God, what was Your purpose in that?" And then you spend a rediculous amount of time thinking about it, and you come up with a plethora of possible answers.

Here's the story: I went down by Hollister River here, and I got stuck trying to turn around. That hill of an ice road and my truck do not mix. It wasn't even a big hill! It was like a little baby hill... but nonetheless, it was solid ice and my truck just could not make it... even after 20 minutes of trying to chip the ice away, i ripped one of my bags of sand open and tried to use that, I had some wood in my toolbox that failed to do anything, and I used some leaves on the side of the road, and finally my floormats (don't even waste your time trying to use floormats if you get stuck. I've got too many experiences trying to use them and they just make it worse!).
So I finally give up and put everything back in my truck and figure I'll just walk back to camp (cuz my freakin phone is turned off!). I start walking back, but after I got about 10 steps away from my truck, I just had the biggest urge to give it one more try. I got in, started it up and took off! I actually moved! ...about 4 feet and then got stuck again. So I'm freakin out like yellin at God. I'm like "Come on, God. I know you just moved my truck that 4 feet, PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEE get me outta here the rest of the way!" Well.. no luck. So I start to walk back.
The walk would have been like an hour. I knew there were a few houses about a block away from where I was stuck so I figured I'd go ask them. Thankfully, the first house I tried a guy had a 4x4 and towed me out.

The whole time this thing is going on, I am thinking and quesitoning "God, what is the point of this?" And trust me, I came up with plenty of ideas. At no point did I get frustrated or mad or in a bad mood. Not even the ride back... but once I got back to camp I just got in a bad mood. I'm really letting this get to me and I don't know why. Maybe it's cuz I don't know the purpose. Was there even a purpose, or did i just get stuck cuz I inattentively drove down an icy road?

Who knows... and the more I type about it the more frustrated I get! I must stop!