So tonight was definitely a long night for chapel. We tried a few new songs, and they definitely didn't work. Take It All was the worst. We practiced yesterday, and all was well. But today, during practice, things just got worse. Then for chapel everything kinda just fell apart. I guess it was just my bad for trying to do that much new stuff in one night. It was so frustrating because I had some really cool sounding stuff ready, but wasn't able to play it during chapel... big frustration. I'm sure we couldn't have sounded that good tonight.
Then while Steve Tice was speaking, he was talking about how God uses us, even when we don't think He does. He looked me straight in the eye, and told me that God used me tonight. He used me to lead worship. It's not really some profound statement... but man did that hit me hard. I've been sucking at leading worship, and it's really been bothering me. I have really been letting myself, my own desires for the band, my own stupid self get in the way of God using me.
How much of me gets in God's way? "We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don’t worship God" - Oswald Chambers. It's even good things that I'm running ahead with. But the point is that I'm running ahead. Or I've got my own agenda.
I want to have my eyes fixed on God, simply living with His will in my mind.
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