Unusual Day

Motivation. One of the few qualities I lack (I'm pretty awesome all around). Something was different about today. I was just unusually motivated. A few things I don't normally do that I did today: got up earlier than 2 minutes before class started, ate 3 meals, jogged, resist-a-band training, showered (i did actually shower today, shocking? Believe it!), devotional, blogged. I don't really do any of those too often, except for showering. I don't really know where this motivation is coming from, especially after having such a crappy sleep last night. Still today there's more things I wanna do that I don't normally do: I wanna write in my prayer journal, I wanna dive into the word just on my own and read it, I wanna make my bed (doesn't seem special, but i think it speaks a lot if somebody makes there bed), I wanna start my hw earlier than the day before its due.

I think this might be from my Spiritual Formation class I took at the beginning of the month. It's a really motivating and encouraging class. We've been out of the class for like a week and I've changed nothing in my life, until today. I really want to keep doing what I'm doing today. It's like an insane energy boost going about life like this. I love it. YEAH!

Eau Claire Dells

Today I went to the Eau Claire Dells with Drew, Clair, Justin, Sarah, Steve, and Pete the Hunt. It looks way cooler in the summer, but it still looked pretty sweet with snow. I got some cool pics with Rachel's camera, I'll try to post them soon. I got some pretty amazing pics and vids. It was scary runnin around there cuz we never knew if we were on a rock or on the ice cuz there was like 2 feet of snow covering everything. Justin fell in once, up to his waiste. He said he wasn't too cold... but who knows. I didn't fall in at all, but I did have a great time climbin around and all that jazz.

Fear

I've always struggled with the idea of fearing God. I mean, how are you supposed to fear Him? I'm not scared that He's going to zap me with a bolt of lightning, and I don't think I ever will. So then do I not fear God? How does one fear God?

What popped into my mind is the idea that God is our King. Back when kings ruled, how did their subjects fear their king? True, some of them were really terrified of their king (if it was a bad king). God is a good king, though. He is fair and just. How would you fear a king like that?

I looked up the definition of fear. I came up with "reverential awe, esp. toward God." The word "reverential" didn't mean much to me, so I looked up "reverence" and found "a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe." So in this sense, fear means a deep respect tinged with awe. I can think of movies where I saw a subject bow to his king, and I can totally understand how they fear their king.

I now understand what it means to fear God. The funny part is that I've heard people explain "fearing God" to me before, and it just never clicked with me. I get it now. I'm good.

Fear is good. I fear ___ = ___ rules me. The key is to find the good things to fear.

Spiritual Formation

Today was the first day for our Spiritual Formation class ... intensive style. I had class for 7 hours today, and for 5 tomorrow. Same thing next Monday and Tuesday. I was expecting today to be a long day, but it turned out to be great. I really loved the class, and it was easy to stay awake most of the time. The content in this class really makes me think about things that need to be thought about (....yeah). I'm thinking about things that I need to do, choices I need to make, new ways to approach different things. It almost feels like a motivational class; it just gets me pumped up to actually get up fill my soul up. Can't wait to see what else I learn from this class.

Love Affair of Mind.

http://lostkidney.blogspot.com/2008/12/love-affair-of-mind.html

Nicolet

Nicolet is not turning out to be what I expected. I can't really tell you what I expected, but I didn't expect this. Maybe it's just because there's a lot of prank drama going on. Maybe it's because we're not in any classes right now. Maybe I was just depending on this place to "fix" me. I came here with plans to change. I guess it turned out I was planning on being changed, more than changing myself. I haven't changed a bit. I know more, I've learned a lot. But I'm still the same tard I was before I came here. I've got the same struggles, same habits, same problems. 

The new semester is starting. It almost seems like last semester was wasted. I don't want to waste this one. I'm not going to wait to be changed; I will change myself. I'm not really looking forward to the decisions I will have to make. But I don't want to get to the end of this year and feel like I do now. I don't look back 6 months and be the same person. I want to grow.

Ready? Set... GROW!  (kinda cheesy, but still delicious)

Worship Apparel

So last weekend some of us NBi students were asked to do worship for one of the family retreats. I didn't find out till Friday night, and we had to play that night... kinda pissed me off. But the weekend went great, worship went very well and all that jazz. Today I learn that somebody commented on my outfit for worship: a hat. Apparently appropriate apparel does not include hats.

It was suggested that I gauge my audience and dress appropriately. Understood. But, still... if a group comes in and it's a kilt party, there's no way I'll wear a kilt. I'll worship the way I want wearing what I want. I know that sounds kinda self-centered or selfish, but it's not. I'm just not going to conform to your "worship outfit standards." Please correct me if my thinking is wrong.