Here's a picture that I made of Heratio the Fox. He's camel sized.
One day, day one of month one of year one, a sly, a cunning fox named Heratio was there. Where was he? Well, he was there. This "there" happens to be next to that "there" and in between "this" and "that," as you might say, possibly. So he was in Rome. Rome, WI to be precisely precise with precisionally precision. He had finished eating his fox food that he was eating, if you must recall from The Fox, Heratio: Season One Episode Four Section A Subsection I Subsubsection α.
He wanted to experience something that's experiential, so he decided to try base jumping. But he was a fox, and they didn't have parachute packs that fit foxes, especially camel sized foxes like Heratio was, so Heratio decided to make his own parachute. He made four ropes out of fox hair, for this was the only available item that Heratio could use. Heratio didn't think of making ropes out of anything else because he got the Zackly disease. It's where you're mouth smells Zackly like your butt. Anywhoville, he tooketh the rope that he so fasioned out of his own fox hair, and he tied it to the four corners of The Earth. Heratio had taken the sheet from his bed and named it "The Earth" so Heratio didn't really tie his sheet to the earth, but rather to his sheet, which was named "The Earth." But he pronounced it like Calypso from Pirates of the Carribean does, so it sounded more like "De Ert." Then he tooketh said home-made parachute and jumped off of a cliff. His parachute failed.
Luckily, Spiderman happened to be dilly dallying around near this cliff, and sawr what trouble had become of Heratio. Spiderman and Heratio were actually pretty good buds. They even gave nicknames for each other. Spiderman was named "String Flinging Fairy" while Heratio was named "Clement." String Flinging Fairy swept Clement out from the sky, saving him from his most certain death. Clement said "thanks" and Spiderman left.
Heratio was mad that his parachute didn't work, and he thought it was the fault of the cliff. It was the fault of the cliff because it was angled the wrong way and made wind flow incorrectly, which cause the parachute to fly unproperly and fail. So Heratio cast the mountain into the sea. He did this by using the Force to send a Jupiter sized meteor to the mountains, and that crumbled the mountains to pieces, and then there was a rockslide that proceeded to the sea. So the mountain became one with the sea.
Then, a peacock happened to walk by, and Heratio had never seen a peacock before, so he ripped off the peacocks head and made a pleasant feathery like coat for himself to wear (for he lost all of his fox fur to the rope for the parachute) and ate the peacock's body for nourishment cause he had expended all his energy on taking care of them darn tootin mountains, yeah, bru? And the peacock was no more. Turns out though, that the peacock had the swine flu, cuz the peacock drank water from the same stream as little miss piggy. Fart. So Heratio got sick, and was near death.
Will Heratio get over the swine flu? Will Heratio ever eat a peacock again? Should you make your own parachute and base jump with it to prove that Heratio is just incompetent? No. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a toostie pop? The world may never know. Because Heratio knows, but he might die, but he can't tell anyone right now because he's got a breathing tube down his fox throat. So he couldn't talk.
Next episode we'll find out what happens to the fox. Or we might just continue the story like this episode never happened. Because a day with Heratio the Fox is like a day with no steak: meaningless utterings.
Until next time, meet single koala bears in your zip code.
